**Disclaimer: yep. that’s right. a disclaimer BEFORE you read. whatev. I wrote this post almost exactly a year ago. I updated it with the LeBron info today (important. accurate. necessary). Weird that I had a similar feeling 12 months later, isn’t it? Off topic: I write a lot. I post very little. Posting/publishing feels weird. Writing feels great.
Please listen. Listen to what I have to say. Listen to my thoughts and concerns and anxieties and problems with my health. Put away the stethoscope. Don’t look at your watch. Please. Listen with your ears, your brain, your heart.
I know there has been progress and thank you for sticking with me me this far. I’m not scared every day. I can make it up the stairs! I can carry a jug of milk and a bag of groceries AT THE SAME TIME. I actually won HORSE the other day (granny shot. gets ’em every time. my boys are all pullin’ a LeBron. It’s like a kick in the shins when I show them how it’s done old school.)
But, doc, I’m having some concerns. I’m no longer the cash cow in need of an expensive device, researching LVAD as bridge therapy, or a transplant, but I do still need help. Even though I’m not the outlier, statistically, that I was almost 4 years ago, I am nowhere near my goal. See, it’s like I want to sprint a marathon and you keep reminding me that I’m lucky to make it to the fridge. You love your numbers and statistics and probabilities. Please, no more numbers. In the past, these numbers helped put my poor health in context, but now they are frustrating. I am here, now, willing myself forward. I want to blow those statistics out of the water. I’m still positive, focused and convinced that this heart can skew your numbers so far you and I will be laughing about them at some day.
I’m very patient, even though I had to wait a long time for you today. I understand there are people who are sicker and urgently needed you today and that’s why you are running late. I’ve been that patient who demanded extra time. I know about a heart in need. I understand a schedule and know why you look at your watch. I’m paying for this appointment and for a babysitter so I’m looking at my watch, too.
Let’s start off with a few sprints…
bigheartedmom 